lord help me. if i miss another new orleans jolly up, my name will be worse than dirt. i know how it's gonna sound, what's coming in this post. but i honestly will not know if i can make it until the last second. i am not just giving excuses for bogus reasons and i'm not being a tease or any other damn thing. here's what it is:
y'all remember me talkin about going on an alaskan cruise, mid-may? well, i have issyews handling numbers in my head. the whole time-space continuum. the mid-may stretches longer than i thought it would.
the cruise is a ten-day cruise. technically, it is from the 16th-26th.
the pros: it's gonna plop my ass in new orleans post-cruise and mid-jolly. that would seem a very fortuitous thing, yes?
the cons: the actual window of time may be pretty narrow. just how narrower or even completely shut that window ends up being is dependent on many variables. it involves when exactly i return from the cruise, including the on-timeness of the flights from alaska to swampland... how wiped out i am, whenever i do get in... and most importantly, the attila issyew.
the attila issyew: my male spawn has kept his job at the hilton for a year now (praise be!) this earns him his first ever vacation from work. he has never taken any time off. his bosses were quite happy to grant him permission, even though according to the rules, the time off is sposed to be no more than one week. attila's technically taking thirteen days off (the cruise plus two days highway time twixt bama and nola tacked on either end). it's not really acceptable for him to miss any more time. with me?
well, the above means that whenever we do get back from the cruise, i am sposed to turn around and drive his ass back here to bama so he can make work the next day. yeah, i am, in truth, the highway queen, but even i take at least six hours and a lil sleep aforetime to make that run.
are we beginning to see the narrow window problems?
ya know, i don't care if no one believes me anymore or not (actually, i do, but onward.) i just wish you people knew how much i want this fucquin thing to happen. however, there is no way i can commit (a) until i get a clearer view of that window; and (b) unless i can figure out a way to deal with the attila issyew that leaves me enough time to even mini-jolly.
so if this thing works, i'm gonna hafta come zoomin in off the cuff (assuming mike'll send me all his contact info, of course) at whatever weird time, whatever y'all are doin, for however long i got. this is the bottom line.
p.s. mike brought up family... more stuff on this cruise and its significance. none of this is essential reading, folk, but ye know how my yap is. many logistical things were thrown into complete turmoil after e's death, and the cruise is the biggest.
chi chi has this thing in her head that we need to go to alaska every five years, cuz we all had such a blast the first time we went. it was me, beez, attila, chi, sam and sam's sister maria. it was technically the chi's honeymoon, but when my sister is happily celebrating something, she wants everyone there and she pours her freaky generosity and manic battyness on everyone there. so anyway, about a year ago, she decides we all need to go back, to make it a family tradition, ya know? we all luvvvvved it so. much. she starts slowly saving up money and time offa work for it. she springs for these fucquin presidential or royal suites on the ship and whatnot.
then when beezie moved onward to other realms of being, chi chi was crushed and lost and didn't know if the trip should go on. she had already sunk sumthin like 40k on the fucquin thing. i convinced her we had to go and have a blast goin to boot, cuz that's precisely what the beez herself would uppitarily demand if we could hear her flyin yap. e luvvvvved alaska, luvvved the cruise, and was lookin forward to this one.
after some yappery, i talked chi chi into it. two friends of ours for over thirty years, a guy couple, who have beeen sooooo sweet and helpful to chi chi in these recent months in particular, are goin in beezle's stead. they are perfect choices, cuz they're funny, silly and world class partiers, frankly. (as ya might imagine, i suggested em to her. ahem.) the kinda guys who came over after the beez service, whipped out a fifth of tequila, and started making me take shots while they told tasteless jokes. they own land next to chi's house north of the lake, and for 30 years, they been bein carpenters and acres-of-grass mowers and guard dogs and fixers of things, all with the insistence that the chi don't ever pay em or even thank em for it. when my spawn were tiny, they'd throw em around the pool and play with em or build bonfires for em. siiiigh.
anyway, this cruise is a huge thing. it's not just a groovy vacation to one of my fave places on earth. it's an event that accomplishes what i've been trying to do with my entire family since beezie departed. it takes what the loss of a loved one is, our missing passenger, so to speak, and transforms it into a celebration and a fitting, happy tribute to the spirit of the e.
kinda weird, how fate works. i missed the first nola jolly up becuz my family invaded here and took me by surprise... the reason, our then-annual tradition of celebrating beezie's survival of that memorial day fall, her near-fatal accident. this year, our vacation celebrates beezie period, despite her fatal event. if i miss this coming jolly, it's gonna be becuz of logistical collateral problems related from the cruise and the e thing. weird, aint it? the timing. the similarities.
here's to family *and* friends *and* celebration. i know it doesn't look like it, but i am all over jollyism, and i am allll over yall. i just haven't yet been able to prove it. mwhahahaHA. i'm gonna try my damnedest to do just that.