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Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 17 Feb 2013, 07:46
by kath
Loki wrote:
kath wrote:
Image


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Hmmmmmmm......


:D


mwhaha. you have no idea how right you are. although i was more brady than family affair. same brat.

{note to everyone else: fucque off already. i'm talkin to loki.}

now, chi chi was never exactly a twee cheerleadery marcia squinch-my-nose-and-look-cute type, but i tell ya... that dynamic between us? it was there. maybe a lil less... g rated. ahem.

ya got yer sunglasses on? good.

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Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 19 Feb 2013, 14:31
by mission
    Apollo’s Frock
    Snarfyguy
    Mentalist
    RCL
    Butch Manly
    Kath
    Watts
    Fangedango
    T. Willy Rye
    Loki
    Funky Nomad
    Billy
    Polishgirl
    Samoan
    John Mc
    Goatboy
    The Masked Man

What do these folk have in common? Other than voting for the cupicidal mission? Let me restructure that list for you:

Kath
Image

Watts

Loki
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Polishgirl

Samoan
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Are you tuning in to what has happened here? This list, that has “messed it up big time,” has attracted the vote of every single female voter participating in the cup. Well, Cosmic American Girl resisted its testeronically intense siren song but, for the purposes of this diatribe, we overlook facts and we move straight on to the character assassinations.

And what of the male fellows that sniffed at my opponent's list and found its anaemic pandering too distasteful to contemplate? Well, see for yourselves.

Snarfyguy – cool-book-reading, guitar-slinging chap who lived the dream. You know, the one where you live in New York and play in a band that actually emerges from adolescent fantasies and actually ventures onto the stages and recording studios of the hardest market to crack.

Butch Manly, who is fucking called Butch Fucking Manly and seems to be getting away with it. A lover, a drinker, a dancer and a thinker, this handsome fellow sets his manly jaw into the future, contemplates giving it a shave – a few too many greys in there now, man – but then realises, “I am Butch Manly, I make that hornbag Griff look like a simpering nancyboy. I do what I like.”

RCL, the horny poet, hung like a happy donkey and prepared to manfully face the slings and arrows of that particular outrageous fortune.

Mentalist, who wakes every morning to find himself in God’s preferred postcode, goes back to sleep – because he can – and murmurs contentedly to himself about the arsey good fortune that has made him tall, goodlooking and Australian.

Goatboy, named not for the Barth metafictional character nor the comic book creation, but to commemorate the simple fact that when a man is in a rut his thoughts turn to rutting and no-one ruts like a Godlike Scot with a ridiculously deep voice and the immaculately dishevelled good looks of a pre-Mandrax Syd Barrett.

T. Willy Rye and his soul brother fangedango! – family men, artfully riding the constant collisions between the obligations of their love and the insistent demands placed on them outside the home. Demands that come when you write like a funny demon, have impeccable taste in music and manage to make being a mensch cool.

I would go on but being nice is very difficult for me. I would much rather draw your attention to the fucking has-beens and never-weres who showed up en masse to parade their sheeplike fondness for gathering in groups and sharing the same non-thought.

Allow me to tell you what was most funny about the tied match play-off – funnier even than seeing the taste brigade fall over themselves in their haste to run from the scary rock music. In the play-off, my opponent – who initially submitted a list comprised almost entirely of edgy postpunk – wimped out faster than a bank closing on a rotten mortgage. His or her next five were safer than nanna’s cocoa. Nina Simone, Moby Grape, Small Faces – snorecore! I was shocked not to see Rod the Mod or the fucking Beach Boys. No more arty guitar bands from the 70s there.

I didn’t deserve to be in the play-off – Apollo’s Frock had only voted for my initial last on the basis of a coin toss – and saw the playoff as an opportunity to dispense with the careful measuring of tunes designed to lure in votes from the crate-diggers and soul cognoscenti. No more contemplation of the exact right Silver Apples track or delving through the Os Mutandes catalogue for something not too played out. You know, the usual shit.

I fired a Clive Gash Strutter 78-like shot of freedom across the bows with Died Pretty’s debut single. Yes, that 10-minute slab of soul-cleansing goodness was their debut. If you were with me after that, I fancied you had the ovaries for anything. Obviously a tune that sounds like a Nuggets-era band, wired on biker crank and playing waaaay past their abilities is too much for some of the more sensitive souls around here. They need their lysergic drones pre-approved by an authority.

After that it was whatever spewed out on the night I was asked to submit a further five. I liked hearing that Samoan dug the Plush tune. That’s the spirit of the cup right there, folks. Someone actually listening to a submitted song from a band they had never heard before and discovering something they liked.
But not the taste brigade. No, no - nothing so outre. I have their pictures here, ready to post for comparison's sake, but I figure – if you are anything like me - you are scrolling back up to just admire how out there kath was.

So I leave you there friends. Defeated but defiant. A freak proud to hoist his freak flag.

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 19 Feb 2013, 16:26
by The Modernist
Stop moaning and get yourself published!
You really are a fantastic writer.

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 19 Feb 2013, 20:47
by kath
oh myyyyyy. does it feel kinda hot and flustery in here to y'all? somebody open a window, for fucque's sake. i feel a swoon comin on...

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 19 Feb 2013, 22:36
by Loki
.

lol hornbag


My head looks superimposed.

And kath looks.....uh, a little wasted. :)

.

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 19 Feb 2013, 23:28
by kath
Loki wrote:.And kath looks.....uh, a little wasted. :)

.


indeed i was. mwhahaha. my ma's birthday. she didn't give a single flyin fucque that i was a lil wasted. we were havin a blast. however, take a look at my brother's face. this particular john look sez, "they've been beyond silly all damn day. do you seeee what i hafta put up with?"

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 20 Feb 2013, 07:57
by The Modernist
Loki wrote:.

lol hornbag


My head looks superimposed.

And kath looks.....uh, a little wasted. :)

.


What's that thing you're holding up..I can't tell if it's a dog or a rabbit! :lol:

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 20 Feb 2013, 09:27
by mentalist (slight return)
I thought it was a hamster at first, but that'd be one mother of a hamster, so i'd guess at rabbit.

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 20 Feb 2013, 20:07
by Loki
A grey rabbit.

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 24 Feb 2013, 00:21
by Ranking Ted
After a few days, the fizzing annoyance has given way to resignation. But getting turfed still rankles for these reasons:

> the winning list, which I saw at the time as being a stultifyingly safe, achingly tasteful, BCB hipster collection of Pavlovian call signals is actually one of the better remaining lists in a moribund last 8. It does have some classy picks and I think it has a swing and groove about it. But the modern-ish picks - Pink Frost, Buzzcocks, Pigbag - have either Cup whiskers on them or are just WTF. And the Mills Brothers? Really?? But, as said, it's not a bad list by any measure and I expect to vote for it given some of the pish remaining.

> a more annoying factor is the fact that 54 votes were counted, including non entrants. Sorry, if you bail from voting the minute your piss weak selection is knocked out in Round 1, please, in future, don't fucking bother in the first place.

> finally, I only really have myself to blame. I knowingly selected the ace, vibing throb of Get It Together despite being aware the Beastie Boys are hated in certain quarters. They're certainly not the Mills Brothers. If I'd gone for a safer pick, like one of my next, utterly fucking great, picks, I'm certain I'd have flipped one vote round, which would've gotten a tiebreaker. Still, I knew the gamble.

That's my bitterest recrimination yet. Well done BCB.

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 24 Feb 2013, 02:46
by Magilla
You fucking clueless bunch of spastic arsewipes. You spineless pack of tools. You feckless pack of wank-stains. You timid bunch of bumwipes. You weak, insipid pack of pansies. Go and suck of each other while listening to your safe, unadventurous, bland, classic rock, focus-group inspired load of anemic tosh. You sad, sad, sad bunch of cunts.

The VU, The Clash The Kinks, Led Zep and a solo Beatle. Go home and wank off to the latest UCUNT, You cunt. Piss-poor, predictable, classic rock arse to the nth degree.

As for the attempts to be adventurous, what a tiresome, utterly predictable line-up: Syd Barrett, Beck, The Fall, Devo and some sad cunt from the MC5. How many dicks did you suck off at the last Jolly-Up ?

The fact Shit Enz is included is a black, black, black mark against my nemisis. Fuck me, what a heinous choice. An utterly over-rated pile of cack from those inbred fuck-knuckles from fucking Te Awamutu.

I'm fairly certain I lost to one John Coan. Well John, I hope you enjoy the rest of the cup. For while it continues I will be vociferously petitioning the moderators to invite Yellowjacket back. And when he comes back - and he will - I will take immense pleasure in seeing you cry like a little pissy baby, you wretched piece of dogshit.

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 24 Feb 2013, 03:24
by Loki
Ouch!

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 24 Feb 2013, 04:44
by harvey k-tel
Not really on to reveal competitors before they're out, Mags.

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 24 Feb 2013, 13:14
by Samoan
Rank Bajin wrote:> a more annoying factor is the fact that 54 votes were counted, including non entrants. Sorry, if you bail from voting the minute your piss weak selection is knocked out in Round 1, please, in future, don't fucking bother in the first place.

I agree. If people take the time to listen to your list, I think it's discourteous not to follow through once you're voted out.
NB - For sure, there may be reasons....IT hiccups, big domestic issues.

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 24 Feb 2013, 13:22
by Matty Red Sox
I've also noticed that the posters that tend to have the courtesy to explain why they might miss a round of voting get good vibes back. e.g. Martha's move. Me travelling.

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 24 Feb 2013, 21:20
by Loki
I was looking at my matches from the last couple of years, and there are a lot fewer votes this year, even from the beginning.

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 24 Feb 2013, 22:04
by Mike Boom
Harvey K-Tel wrote:Not really on to reveal competitors before they're out, Mags.


Well to be fair Harvey, Coan has done that to me on several occassions in the past, so lets not bleed too much for the old chap, however having said, I rather hope he wins.

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 24 Feb 2013, 22:13
by harvey k-tel
Mike Boom wrote:
Harvey K-Tel wrote:Not really on to reveal competitors before they're out, Mags.


Well to be fair Harvey, Coan has done that to me on several occassions in the past, so lets not bleed too much for the old chap, however having said, I rather hope he wins.


Ah, I guess I never noticed it before. Never mind, Maggie! :)

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 25 Feb 2013, 21:27
by Bungo the Mungo
Mike Boom wrote:
Harvey K-Tel wrote:Not really on to reveal competitors before they're out, Mags.


Well to be fair Harvey, Coan has done that to me on several occassions in the past,


Absolute nonsense. As with others here, I didn't know who you were until you won, so there could be no 'outing'.

Re: The glorious return of Bitter Recriminations

Posted: 25 Feb 2013, 21:31
by harvey k-tel
Goddammit.

Magilla, you shouldn't have done what you did.