Chuck Berry Stories

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Chuck Berry Stories

Postby beenieman » 01 Jan 2010, 22:03

Just saw this and thought I'd share.

At a concert in Ontario, Canada on 7 Aug 1987, Chuck Berry fired his local back-up band 17 minutes into the show ON STAGE! He then played 6 songs by himself and the last 4 songs with 3 new musicians quickly hired by his producer.


What a guy!!
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby Bungo the Mungo » 01 Jan 2010, 22:21

Hail Hail! Rock 'N' Roll hints at a lot of this. It's a pretty good film.

The man was quite a shit.
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby king feeb » 01 Jan 2010, 22:28

Sir John Coan wrote:The man was quite a shit.


Apparently, he also enjoyed watching others taking a shit:

In 1990 Berry was sued by several women who claimed that he had installed a video camera in the ladies' bathrooms at two of his Wentzville restaurants. Berry claimed that he had the camera installed to catch red-handed a worker who was suspected of stealing from the restaurant. Though his guilt was never proven in court, Berry opted for a class action settlement with 59 women. Berry's biographer, Bruce Pegg, estimated that it cost Berry over $1.2 million plus legal fees. It was during this time that he began using Wayne T. Schoeneberg as his legal counsel.


:?
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby beenieman » 01 Jan 2010, 22:35

Below is an account of Berry's arrival for his Friday night Raleigh Wide Open performance, as told by co-organizers Billy Warden and Greg Behr.



Warden: I'm checking logistics near the Cherry Bounce stage on Hargett Street when I notice a black Lincoln Town Car parked where it shouldn't be. The driver's side window rolls down and an African-American man in a white captain's hat points at me. Oh brother, I think, now what??!! I walk over, and as I get closer a thought dawns on me. When I reach the car, I ask, "Are you...you?" And the thin guy in the captain's hat answers, "I'm Chuck Berry. Get in."

The closest door is the one to the back seat, so I tumble in and ask, "What are we gonna do, Chuck?" Perfectly poised, he says, "You're gonna get me to the Marriott because I'm tired of drivin' around lookin' for it."

It's really not that hard to get to the Marriott, but when you're Chuck Berry and you've decided to drive yourself in from the airport and you have all those amazing rock'n'roll memories duckwalking around in your head, it might get tricky. I don't make it easier when I whip out my mobile phone and, in between instructions -- "Turn here, Chuck!" -- start calling friends and loved ones. "Honey," I yell to my wife. "I'm in Chuck Friggin' Berry's car! Say 'hi,' Chuck!" And the Architect of Rock'n'Roll obliges with a guttural, "Hey! We're heeeeeere!!"

I tell him this rivals the time I had cinnamon toast with Muddy Waters. He likes that. I tell him how Keith Richards' endless plugging of Berry first made me check out "Let It Rock" and "Roll Over Beethoven." He offers an indifferent nod.

Then I call Greg Behr and tell him to get to the Marriott because Chuck Friggin' Berry is about to arrive.

Behr: So, we're at the front door of the Marriott with an army of debutantes and their folks downtown for the big deb ball. The black Lincoln slides up, but getting the cargo out of the car is tougher than expected. The driver parks exactly where he wants to park. Then a concierge gets her hand caught in the car's power window and starts screaming. But eventually, the driver emerges. Tall. White captain's hat. Gibson guitar case. Chuck Friggin' Berry.

In the hotel, the living legend says he's hungry. The porter offers a room service sandwich. "Hmmm," Berry says, lips pursed. "Got any ribs?"

The Marriott has lots of wonderful stuff, but not ribs. The Pit, on the other hand, knows ribs. We call the owner. Ten minutes later, in comes a guy from the Pit carrying the ribs of at least 10 recently laid-to-rest pigs. Up we glide to the 15th floor. We deliver the goods and leave Chuck Friggin' Berry in his room, surrounded by acres of cole slaw, collard greens, ice tea and those much-desired ribs.



http://blogs.newsobserver.com/beat/chuck-berry-makes-a-scene-wherever-he-goes
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby Big John Gooly » 02 Jan 2010, 01:21

king feeb wrote:
Sir John Coan wrote:The man was quite a shit.


Apparently, he also enjoyed watching others taking a shit:

In 1990 Berry was sued by several women who claimed that he had installed a video camera in the ladies' bathrooms at two of his Wentzville restaurants. Berry claimed that he had the camera installed to catch red-handed a worker who was suspected of stealing from the restaurant. Though his guilt was never proven in court, Berry opted for a class action settlement with 59 women. Berry's biographer, Bruce Pegg, estimated that it cost Berry over $1.2 million plus legal fees. It was during this time that he began using Wayne T. Schoeneberg as his legal counsel.


:?


It just goes to show, you cant be too careful. :lol:
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby bobzilla77 » 02 Jan 2010, 02:02

I've seen "the video." You can't front on that.

Although my response is basically, "Ah so what, Chuck Berry likes pee. Big woop."

You should have YOUR kinkiest moments shown to total strangers on videotape.
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby beenieman » 02 Jan 2010, 07:35

bobzilla77 wrote:I've seen "the video." You can't front on that.

Although my response is basically, "Ah so what, Chuck Berry likes pee. Big woop."

You should have YOUR kinkiest moments shown to total strangers on videotape.


:o
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby Snarfyguy » 02 Jan 2010, 07:40

What about the glass coffee table stories? Legend, myth, rumor or FACT?
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby king feeb » 02 Jan 2010, 08:01

Snarfyguy wrote:What about the glass coffee table stories? Legend, myth, rumor or FACT?


I think it's a rumor/ urban myth. It's never been proved.

For the record, I heard the same rumor about Danny Thomas. Make room for daddy, indeed!
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby beenieman » 02 Jan 2010, 08:51

This is a thread in which to share Chuck Berry stories not just allude to them.
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby beenieman » 02 Jan 2010, 08:56

Chuck Berry In Rehearsal Shocker!


Where Chuck Berry played his first ever gig A young group of musicians are in a state of shock over the fact they achieved what is believed to be an impossible feat - they actually persuaded tight fisted rock and roll miser Chuck Berry (82) to rehearse.

The legendary Berry has for the last 50 years been touring and playing the World with an ever changing group of musicians. He has never fronted a band of his own and standard procedure is for him to arrive where he is playing, grab the nearest band and expects them to perform live without any rehearsals. "Everybody knows my songs" bragged Berry a few years ago. However his penny pinching tactics have resulted in a whole string of disastrous and embarrassing live performances which have humiliated the unlucky band behind him. Not that Berry cares... he simply takes the money and runs, giving very little to the band and the US taxman.

Thankfully when Berry decided to pick on death metal band Asthma Attack upon arrival 3 days ago in Boston, Massachusetts, the band rebelled and told him they would not play unless they had a rehearsal. They pointed out that being an "extreme" band, they were unable to play Berry's songs and what's more their most popular number is called "Chuck Berry Is A Perverted Twat", a song all about his fondness for installing security cameras in ladies toilets.

"He threw a fit!" lead guitarist Antony Simmons told us. "He told us he'd rather play with his ding a ling than rehearse and demanded that our girlfriends "entertain" him". However when the band pointed out that they were all gay, "Chuck turned white with fright, especially when I locked the doors. Legend or no legend, he wasn't gonna escape until he taught us his songs". Berry refused to cave in until the entire band dropped their trousers with erect penises to the fore and threatened to bugger Berry.

"He calmed down after that... he told us to put our ding a lings away and negotiated terms with us whereby he would rehearse and pay us fifty percent of his earnings" chirped Mr Simmons.

Berry and Asthma Attack took to the stage that night and wowed the audience full of Berry veterans. One such fan, Bruce Steenspring (87) told us, "I've seen Chuck play 274 times since 1956 and this was the tightest performance he ever ever gave. It was strange though... he seemed to be in fear of the band who strangely were all wearing enormous dildos draped from their belts, but hey... he is Mr rock and roll and he sure rocked!"

Immediately after the gig, Berry scuttled off stage to make a hasty exit only to come face to face with the band's roadie brandishing a 5 foot dildo who politely stopped Berry in his tracks and demanded he coughed up or he would receive the dildo as a gift in 60 seconds. Berry duly coughed up the cash and dashed to the airport for his next gig which was an appearance on Jay Leno's show.

Sadly, the Leno show saw Berry back in his usual form, playing badly with a band who didn't have a clue. It was a highly shambolic affair that Berry fans have become accustomed to. The members of Asthma Attack watched the broadcast and proudly boasted of their impossible achievement.
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby beenieman » 02 Jan 2010, 09:01

Chuck's Criminal Record:

""Interstate transportation of a prostitute""
While in Mexico, he met a 14-year old Apache woman that he invited to work as a hat check girl at his club. After she was fired, she was arrested on prostitution charges, and Chuck Berry was essentially blamed for having "transported a female for immoral purposes." He was sentenced to five years and fined $5,000

"Armed Robbery"
In 1944, when his car broke down, he and a bunch of his friends waited, and flagged down a passing car. Chuck then carjacked the car using a non-functional gun. The man used a pay-phone, and the police quickly caught them. Chuck Berry was sentenced, and then released from the Intermediate Reformatory for Young Men in Algoa, Missouri, when he turned 21.
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby king feeb » 02 Jan 2010, 09:07

beenieman wrote:
Chuck Berry In Rehearsal Shocker!


Where Chuck Berry played his first ever gig A young group of musicians are in a state of shock over the fact they achieved what is believed to be an impossible feat - they actually persuaded tight fisted rock and roll miser Chuck Berry (82) to rehearse.

The legendary Berry has for the last 50 years been touring and playing the World with an ever changing group of musicians. He has never fronted a band of his own and standard procedure is for him to arrive where he is playing, grab the nearest band and expects them to perform live without any rehearsals. "Everybody knows my songs" bragged Berry a few years ago. However his penny pinching tactics have resulted in a whole string of disastrous and embarrassing live performances which have humiliated the unlucky band behind him. Not that Berry cares... he simply takes the money and runs, giving very little to the band and the US taxman.

Thankfully when Berry decided to pick on death metal band Asthma Attack upon arrival 3 days ago in Boston, Massachusetts, the band rebelled and told him they would not play unless they had a rehearsal. They pointed out that being an "extreme" band, they were unable to play Berry's songs and what's more their most popular number is called "Chuck Berry Is A Perverted Twat", a song all about his fondness for installing security cameras in ladies toilets.

"He threw a fit!" lead guitarist Antony Simmons told us. "He told us he'd rather play with his ding a ling than rehearse and demanded that our girlfriends "entertain" him". However when the band pointed out that they were all gay, "Chuck turned white with fright, especially when I locked the doors. Legend or no legend, he wasn't gonna escape until he taught us his songs". Berry refused to cave in until the entire band dropped their trousers with erect penises to the fore and threatened to bugger Berry.

"He calmed down after that... he told us to put our ding a lings away and negotiated terms with us whereby he would rehearse and pay us fifty percent of his earnings" chirped Mr Simmons.

Berry and Asthma Attack took to the stage that night and wowed the audience full of Berry veterans. One such fan, Bruce Steenspring (87) told us, "I've seen Chuck play 274 times since 1956 and this was the tightest performance he ever ever gave. It was strange though... he seemed to be in fear of the band who strangely were all wearing enormous dildos draped from their belts, but hey... he is Mr rock and roll and he sure rocked!"

Immediately after the gig, Berry scuttled off stage to make a hasty exit only to come face to face with the band's roadie brandishing a 5 foot dildo who politely stopped Berry in his tracks and demanded he coughed up or he would receive the dildo as a gift in 60 seconds. Berry duly coughed up the cash and dashed to the airport for his next gig which was an appearance on Jay Leno's show.

Sadly, the Leno show saw Berry back in his usual form, playing badly with a band who didn't have a clue. It was a highly shambolic affair that Berry fans have become accustomed to. The members of Asthma Attack watched the broadcast and proudly boasted of their impossible achievement.


I suspect that story's bullshit, too. Very funny though.

I lived in Boston for 23 years, until last April, and I sure would've heard of a gay death-metal band called Asthma Attack (in fact I probably would've probably played bass for 'em).

--------------------------------------
As for the glass coffee table story (you asked for it!), internet sources (which are always correct and accurate :mrgreen: ) provide two different versions:

1) Chuck Berry paid girls to shit on a glass table while he watched from underneath and played with his dingaling.

2) Chuck Berry convinced Slade's Noddy Holder to shit on a glass table while he watched from underneath and played with his dingaling.

As I mentioned, some versions of story 1) substitute Danny Thomas.

I feel like I need a bath now.
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby Tactful Cactus » 02 Jan 2010, 13:55

pig bodine wrote:When I was around 9 years old, I saw Chuck Berry at a shopping mall. Mr Berry, I love Johnny B Goode, I said to him in my cute 9 year old way.

F*** you, litle white boy, he said, and knocked the packages out of my hand. He then kicked me in the shin for good measure, then continued to hit on the cashier.


This explains alot.
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby beenieman » 02 Jan 2010, 16:21

Tactful Cactus wrote:
pig bodine wrote:When I was around 9 years old, I saw Chuck Berry at a shopping mall. Mr Berry, I love Johnny B Goode, I said to him in my cute 9 year old way.

F*** you, litle white boy, he said, and knocked the packages out of my hand. He then kicked me in the shin for good measure, then continued to hit on the cashier.


This explains alot.


About Pig Bodine?
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby Snarfyguy » 03 Jan 2010, 20:57

king feeb wrote:1) Chuck Berry paid girls to shit on a glass table while he watched from underneath and played with his dingaling.

Of course the stories pre-date the Internet, which doesn't make them any more or less believeable.

Did you make up the Noddy Holder version? :lol:
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby king feeb » 03 Jan 2010, 21:02

Snarfyguy wrote:
king feeb wrote:1) Chuck Berry paid girls to shit on a glass table while he watched from underneath and played with his dingaling.

Of course the stories pre-date the Internet, which doesn't make them any more or less believeable.

Did you make up the Noddy Holder version? :lol:


No. I did not make up either the Noddy Holder version or the Danny Thomas ("Make Poop For Daddy") version. I just Googled "Chuck Berry Glass Table" and there they were!

I just loves the internets!
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby Piggly Wiggly » 03 Jan 2010, 21:03

In Holder's autobiograhy, entitled (wait for it!) Who's Crazee Now, he admits that during lean times in Germany he'd shit on a glass pane fgor some old pervert.
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby Sneelock » 03 Jan 2010, 21:44

best.
thread.
ever!
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Re: Chuck Berry Stories

Postby Mychael » 03 Jan 2010, 22:28

beenieman wrote:
Below is an account of Berry's arrival for his Friday night Raleigh Wide Open performance, as told by co-organizers Billy Warden and Greg Behr.


Oh dear. Idiots like these two are probably the main reason that "celebrities" are so grumpy. 8-)

A musician friend encountered another sort of promoter: In the late seventies Chuck Berry was booked to play a gig in Hamburg at the famous Fabrik, run by veterans of the Hamburg red light district and the Star Club (or both). Even then Chuck wanted to be paid before he went on stage. The organizer refused, and it came to a heated exchange in the tiny dressingroom behind the stage, Chuck threatening to leave immediately if he didn't get the money. The organizer then turned around, locked the back door and threw the key out the other door into the waiting audience. "OK, you can go, but the only way out is through the audience."

Of course, uncle Chuck played for exactly 59 minutes, under the watchful eyes of the rockers and bikers in the first row.
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